“For She Who Grieves: Practical Wisdom for Living Hope intricately weaves stories of grief, loss, and hope to raise awareness, consciousness, and connection…”
From the Publisher: “For She Who Grieves: Practical Wisdom for Living Hope, co-created and written by Holly Joy McIlwain and Amy Hooper Hanna, focuses particularly on women’s struggles with grief, and was developed to help people live better, more fulfilling and meaningful lives. McIlwain and Hanna were inspired ‘to do one brave thing every day’ by their participation in the Brave Women Project, a nonprofit founded by McIlwain, which began their discussion of a possible book featuring practical wisdom on grief…”
More Info Amy Hooper Hanna serves as a coach, trainer and consultant in employee communication, people engagement and leadership effectiveness. She consulted with Fortune 500 and Fortune 1000 companies in organization effectiveness and communications for more than a decade in a leading human capital firm in Washington D.C., then spent another decade with a leading talent management firm, assessing corporate client leadership behavior and providing developmental feedback.
She established her own independent entity, Amy Hooper Hanna & Associates (AhHA!), which started as a strategic employee research consultancy for employee engagement, retention, communications and marketing projects, and has since shifted the focus to leadership coaching, making people-leadership easier with practical wisdom that works. As a strategist, researcher, communicator and coach, she takes an approach in life and business of asking questions and listening closely, and creating “ah ha!” moments for people that generate positive momentum.
Holly McIlwain is the founder and chief cheerleader of the Brave Women Project. She is the author of “For She Who Leads: Practical Wisdom from a Woman Who Serves”, a contributing author of “Twenty Won”, and leads the Talent Development platform at Winner Partners. She is a subject-matter expert in the usage of behavior assessments as part of coaching and development plans, in addition to talent acquisition engagements. As a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach, working with individuals and organizations to build a better world and sustainable business solutions is her passion. What’s not exciting about that? This enthusiasm comes with Holly into each coaching session, team workshop, search opportunity, and speaking engagement. It carries right over into the Brave Women Project. Nothing excites Holly more than inspiring women to do brave things. In 2020, Holly created a space for women to do brave things, and the momentum is growing.
Developing leaders who change lives is Holly’s passion and professional purpose. She has studied and written about topics such as: Leadership and Mission, Bravery in Business, and Managing Human Relationships. As a recognized subject matter expert, Holly has spoken at numerous conferences and on Sirius XM Radio. She holds an advanced degree in Organizational Leadership from Robert Morris University, and is certified as a DISC Behavior Analyst and a Driving Forces Behavior Analyst.
After studying with Pittsburgh Leadership Foundation, she invested her time and professionalism in the Pittsburgh region, consistently seeking ways to challenge leaders to become fully engaged in transformation. In 2020 she served as Pittsburgh Leadership Foundation Faculty and became a DDI Certified Facilitator. Holly is an expert in the value of dynamic onboarding as part of the foundation for fully engaged employees and is the Director of Human Resources and Talent Management at Robert Morris University.
She and her husband, Kevin, are raising two young boys and residing in the greater Pittsburgh, PA area.
So who are you? And how did you two meet?
Holly is the founder of Brave Women Project, a high-impact not-for-profit that serves women who often feel the pressure of doing it all, all at once, all the time, and Amy is the first founding member.
We were first introduced through a book launch when Holly’s book, For She Who Leads came out. Amy offered to edit Holly’s next book. We are both in people leadership industries and found each other engaging, so we stayed in touch.
When Holly’s idea came to her for this next book, she realized she needed a nudge, a partner among the network of women that championed our bravery to go to places that we hadn’t been ready or wanting to go to before. She knew Amy was the one!
How was it to write a book with someone else, to co-author?
We both respond to things, ideas, projects that light us up with great energy, especially something with greater purpose. This book is a representation of us activating each other’s potential and energy toward something to enrich lives! We complemented (and complimented) each other very well.
Amy tends toward spontaneous clarity and rides waves of energy and emotion; Holly has a way of listening and capturing a concept creatively and articulating it seamlessly all in that moment. So when we’d get together in real-time, or even just sharing the draft back and forth, Holly would take a deep emotional concept Amy was trying to convey, work her magic, and capture it perfectly. Likewise, Amy would get new inspiration from Holly’s capture, and ride another wave. We were tag-team mind surfers!
Best moments: “I can’t tell what I’ve written and what you’ve written”!
“Is this Amy’s letter? Or Holly’s?” “Our thoughts have totally melted together!” “I LOVE it!” “Yessss!”
“Yes yes yes! That is exactly what I’m trying to say!!” “Holly, work your magic on what I just wrote!” “Amy this is perfection.”
Why did you write this book?
To help people who are struggling, and to enrich people’s lives. To raise awareness, consciousness and connection so we can all live better, more meaningfully.
The wisdom and support shared in the Brave Women Project professional development sessions, in our Brave Women Brunches, from the speakers, and mostly from each other in the “Come As You Are” support circles was so precious it needed to be captured.
As part of a movement “to do one brave thing every day,” a series of tender stories that women have been carrying for generations were revealed. In carrying these stories, and quietly sharing them, women have been grieving in silence.
No, these weren’t organized grief sessions or storytelling hours. But the reality is that grief is an inevitable part of life, even part of daily life, and grief can really suck. Literally, suck the positivity and ambition right out of you.
We discovered an intensity, a voice in one’s head that whispers self-imposed guidelines and expectations that are not always fair to the person experiencing grief. With this book, we wanted to create some space for she who grieves to begin by accepting that we all have been, and many of us are, in a place of grief.
What’s For She Who Grieves all about?
It’s a collection of stories on the effects of grief and what comes next. It’s about steps taken and the power and challenge that can be found on the road from sadness to joy, between grief and relief.
It’s really about the good in grief. It’s about tending to pain with care. It’s about the evolution that comes from suffering, the change that transpires from challenge.
Real people’s real personal stories touch us. There is something about hearing these, especially the ones not typically shared on social media or as pure entertainment for the masses that amplifies our optimism, compassion, connection and opens up the doors to hope and joy.
What topics does your book cover?
The stories in this book are from women who have experienced or attended to grief from various types of traumatic events and layers of loss stemming from not only from death and dying, but disease, divorce, debilitation, and abuse to name a few. This book is not about being a victim, but about being a victor. It’s about HOPE, about helping other people become enlightened.
The sensitive stories offered are ones that provide awareness and deeper understanding of complex situations and show us there are healthy ways to ease the pain, experience joy, and emerge, well, better.
Somehow the speed of life and the weight of responsibilities takes priority over sitting with grief and allowing time to help us heal. But time doesn’t heal all wounds on its own. We actually have to do some of the work. At least a little. Not to get OVER grief. One never gets OVER grief. But to work with it. Sometimes we need a nudge. This book is a gentle nudge.
What was most challenging about developing this book?
Grief is hard. Really freaking hard. People submitting actual stories was hard. You have to be in the right mood and frame of mind. That’s where the interviews and notebooks and research came in.
We only wrote when we felt lit up, inspired, and motivated, responding to waves of creative energy as they came.
Is your story in here?
We have a non-disclosure agreement for the book when it comes to some of the stories. We do have personal pieces in places.
If we were to publicly confirm or deny anonymous stories, it could compromise the anonymity and privacy of people in the book. What is important is the story.
Some stories are anonymous, and some aren’t. Why is that?
It’s a personal choice and people have their own valid reasons. We want to be respectful of that. To whom which story belongs isn’t as important as the story itself. What’s important is that they are people like you and me who you might never guess have lived or are living with incredible or enduring grief. They could be your co-worker, your friend, the girl next door, your carpool mom, your family member …
What matters is what she experienced and what you have too. What matters is that through her story, you learn that you are not alone. What matters is that maybe you haven’t experienced this, but now you’re more aware of what happens to different degrees even in the most unsuspecting places.
Maybe it will spark the education and the empathy our world needs more of. There are so many people out there who you would never guess are going through hell. Be kind to others, and fundamentally, to yourself.
Grief responds best to love.